Eff this Sunday

I’m usually prepared for my week by Sunday evening and like to just relax. I was super proud of myself today because I had all of my back-to-school stuff done. Ready for that. Most of my work stuff was good to go. The only thing I was slacking on is my college class, of course. I figured I would take the last few hours of my night to knock out my weekly assignments. I went to log in, and it wouldn’t let me. Awesome. I’ll have to call to set the security features on my account and reset the password – on Monday morning, where all my assignments will be officially late. Totally my own fault. I’m annoyed with myself.

Of course, I ate a snack to make myself feel better. I started out with some vanilla flavored Greek yogurt, and decided to add a little honey to sweeten it up. Then I noticed the mini blueberry muffins on the counter, and thought that would probably make a delicious addition and went ahead with creating the crumble. I couldn’t stop there though as I realized it needed some texture and went with the vanilla almond granola. Oh my God! What started out as a healthy snack turned into crazy sugary binge! I’m ridiculous.

Then I realized I hadn’t read a few emails that came in this weekend, and played catch up only to discover that one of my customers is stirring up some stuff that I need to take to my management team. It is 100% out of my control, and I will leave it at that.

But damn it! Eff this Sunday.


Over Achiever – Sometimes Slacker

I always take on too much. Then I regret it. But I get pumped up before I take things on, and tell myself: YOU CAN DO IT. But can I? Can I really do it all? Not normally. Something slacks. Whether it is my career, housework, not reading enough with my kids, not playing enough with my kids, not cooking deliciously, healthy meals for my family, laundry, being a good daughter, college courses, or my sex life with my husband. Because God only knows at the end of the day, when I’ve “done it all”, I’m exhausted. And I end up not doing it all and sucking (not literally this time) in the wife department.

Let me tell you what I’m up to this semi-quarter (I break my life up into 2.5 month periods because it aligns best with my college semesters and my kids’ baseball seasons.

  • Career – we are doing some serious stuff this quarter with my customer. We’re moving them to the cloud. And by them, I mean 250,000 users. It is all going to fall on me to be a success, and if it doesn’t measure up to be successful, I can probably kiss my job goodbye. So definitely busy there. I was also nominated for a two year leadership program in my company. I don’t know if I “won” yet, but I’ll find out soon. And if I did win, I’ll be busy AF.
  • Baseball Mom – not only are all three of my children signed up for Little League, but they are in different divisions. That’s three or more practices per week, and three or more games per week. Oh, and I’m also managing one of the teams with my husband coaching. This only lasts 2.5 months.
  • College – I’ve gone very far in my career without my degree. While I have 150 college credits to my name thanks to my inability to settle down with a major, none of them add up to a bachelor’s degree. Need to knock that out. I’m to the point now where I need that little degree to move up any more. And I’m sick of my lifetime college student status. So I enrolled in an online class starting….whoops yesterday. Need to get going with it.
  • Back-to-school – I’m an active PTA member. They love me even more since they discovered that for every hour of my time that I volunteer, they get $25. My company is amazing. See first bullet where I need my project to go well, as I don’t want to lose my job. I’ve got three kids, going to two different schools. Lots to do. Thanks to KidBox and KidPik for doing my school shopping. Once less thing to worry about. But you know all the back to school hoopla, plus getting in a chaotic routine to get everyone out the door on-time. It just sucks.
  • Paternal – see my previous entry on my dad moving in, and to our state. SO.MUCH.TO.DO.WITH.HIS.MEDICAL.CARE.
  • Maternal – lucky my mom lives around the corner, is retired, and fully capable of helping out. She doesn’t require much other than some financial help and the occasional box of wine.
  • Other Extracurricular Activities – I know. Maybe I should limit what my children do. Tell the to pick ONE activity for the quarter, and that will be it. But I like staying active with my kids. So it is entirely my own fault. My oldest takes hip hop dance lessons that start in Sept and go until June when they have their recital. Luckily, I’ve scheduled that on a Thursday afternoon after school, so my mom can help. He has also developed a love for art, and we found a place that does weekly art lessons for his age group. I want to run with this, so we are. My middle child is musically gifted, and takes guitar lessons. Luckily, we have someone that comes to us for his weekly lesson. So not terribly difficult to manage. He does practice every single day though. You’ve got to when you are that good! Then there is my baby girl. She has been taking ballet and tap since she was two, but has decided she would like to try her hand at hip hop. She is going to be amazing. She has so much sass and energy. It will be great for her.
  • Reading – Always on our to-do list. And with different reading levels, I need to stay on top of this otherwise one of my kids will be a pro at reading, and the others won’t.
  • Orange Theory Fitness – it is my go-to for my health and sanity. I try for 3-4 days a week. Some weeks, I only make it once. Progress not perfection.
  • Additional Crap – my husband is out of town over half the month of September.

I can’t even enjoy wine when I have this packed of a schedule. I know, I sound like a privileged person complaining. I AM very fortunate that I have the means to do all of this. I’ve worked hard for it, and was no means handed any of it. I come from a lower-income/class family and community, and had a less than desirable childhood. I got out by joining the military, and I worked my way up from the moment I could escape my past life.  I give back in many ways – time and money. And I teach my children to do the same. But when I type it all out, I feel the need to put that disclaimer because, YES, I know. I have a great life and there are many less fortunate people in this world. The chaos is only a season.

Excuse my language

In a technology planning meeting today, and I’m the only female in attendance. I’m okay with this. I’m actually used to this. And it isn’t even a thing. Until we’re all shooting the shit, and someone drops the F-bomb. There is instant regret and apologies directed right at me for use of such a foul word. I just don’t get it. You’re okay with using that word in the first place at work around your peers, so fucking own it! Don’t say it and then give me an apology. You don’t mean it anyways because if you were really afraid I’d be offended, then you wouldn’t say it to begin with. Ugh.