I wish I had taken the opportunity to write at the start of the pandemic. I was too busy going stir-crazy and trying to manager it all. I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to work from home, keep my family and my parents safe, and not really have much change other than the extras in life. What a shit show 2020 was….and really I don’t even think 2021 is looking to be that much better. Just our new normal. It sucks that my daughter doesn’t really know anything other than a life with masks. I mean she is only 6, and while she does remember
pre-pandemic days, it won’t be long until this is what she only knows. My boys are 8 & 10 now, and I think they will remember things. But again, who knows…I notice my boys forgetting so many things from earlier childhood days that are so vivid in my mind. The bittersweet part of parenting. I was re-reading some of my earlier blog posts – and I still recall their sweet little voices as if it was yesterday. I often think that when I’m old and dying, that is what I’ll remember as the lights go out. Being a mom is the experience and privilege of a lifetime. And nothing else will ever top it for me.
I always take on too much. Then I regret it. But I get pumped up before I take things on, and tell myself: YOU CAN DO IT. But can I? Can I really do it all? Not normally. Something slacks. Whether it is my career, housework, not reading enough with my kids, not playing enough with my kids, not cooking deliciously, healthy meals for my family, laundry, being a good daughter, college courses, or my sex life with my husband. Because God only knows at the end of the day, when I’ve “done it all”, I’m exhausted. And I end up not doing it all and sucking (not literally this time) in the wife department.
Let me tell you what I’m up to this semi-quarter (I break my life up into 2.5 month periods because it aligns best with my college semesters and my kids’ baseball seasons.
- Career – we are doing some serious stuff this quarter with my customer. We’re moving them to the cloud. And by them, I mean 250,000 users. It is all going to fall on me to be a success, and if it doesn’t measure up to be successful, I can probably kiss my job goodbye. So definitely busy there. I was also nominated for a two year leadership program in my company. I don’t know if I “won” yet, but I’ll find out soon. And if I did win, I’ll be busy AF.
- Baseball Mom – not only are all three of my children signed up for Little League, but they are in different divisions. That’s three or more practices per week, and three or more games per week. Oh, and I’m also managing one of the teams with my husband coaching. This only lasts 2.5 months.
- College – I’ve gone very far in my career without my degree. While I have 150 college credits to my name thanks to my inability to settle down with a major, none of them add up to a bachelor’s degree. Need to knock that out. I’m to the point now where I need that little degree to move up any more. And I’m sick of my lifetime college student status. So I enrolled in an online class starting….whoops yesterday. Need to get going with it.
- Back-to-school – I’m an active PTA member. They love me even more since they discovered that for every hour of my time that I volunteer, they get $25. My company is amazing. See first bullet where I need my project to go well, as I don’t want to lose my job. I’ve got three kids, going to two different schools. Lots to do. Thanks to KidBox and KidPik for doing my school shopping. Once less thing to worry about. But you know all the back to school hoopla, plus getting in a chaotic routine to get everyone out the door on-time. It just sucks.
- Paternal – see my previous entry on my dad moving in, and to our state. SO.MUCH.TO.DO.WITH.HIS.MEDICAL.CARE.
- Maternal – lucky my mom lives around the corner, is retired, and fully capable of helping out. She doesn’t require much other than some financial help and the occasional box of wine.
- Other Extracurricular Activities – I know. Maybe I should limit what my children do. Tell the to pick ONE activity for the quarter, and that will be it. But I like staying active with my kids. So it is entirely my own fault. My oldest takes hip hop dance lessons that start in Sept and go until June when they have their recital. Luckily, I’ve scheduled that on a Thursday afternoon after school, so my mom can help. He has also developed a love for art, and we found a place that does weekly art lessons for his age group. I want to run with this, so we are. My middle child is musically gifted, and takes guitar lessons. Luckily, we have someone that comes to us for his weekly lesson. So not terribly difficult to manage. He does practice every single day though. You’ve got to when you are that good! Then there is my baby girl. She has been taking ballet and tap since she was two, but has decided she would like to try her hand at hip hop. She is going to be amazing. She has so much sass and energy. It will be great for her.
- Reading – Always on our to-do list. And with different reading levels, I need to stay on top of this otherwise one of my kids will be a pro at reading, and the others won’t.
- Orange Theory Fitness – it is my go-to for my health and sanity. I try for 3-4 days a week. Some weeks, I only make it once. Progress not perfection.
- Additional Crap – my husband is out of town over half the month of September.
I can’t even enjoy wine when I have this packed of a schedule. I know, I sound like a privileged person complaining. I AM very fortunate that I have the means to do all of this. I’ve worked hard for it, and was no means handed any of it. I come from a lower-income/class family and community, and had a less than desirable childhood. I got out by joining the military, and I worked my way up from the moment I could escape my past life. I give back in many ways – time and money. And I teach my children to do the same. But when I type it all out, I feel the need to put that disclaimer because, YES, I know. I have a great life and there are many less fortunate people in this world. The chaos is only a season.
My kids are growing quickly. I feel like it was just the other day that I struggled to conceive, and then began the intense IVF process. Now my babies are 4, 6, and almost 8. It goes too fast.
This weekend was spent cleaning our house, in preparation for our amazing cleaning team to visit us today and give us a much needed home cleaning. Sometime during the weekend, all three of my children were singing along to some random pop song, and their voices sounded so sweet. I don’t think I will ever forget the sound of their voices as young children – so sweet and filled with happiness and endless energy. Love the little moments because they go so fast…
Today we spent the better part of the morning sorting Pokémon cards and putting them in binders. At one point, it was just my husband and me doing the work, while the kids were watching SpongeBob. The kids came back in to help us, and I’m not entirely sure what happened but my older son, almost 8, went flying by like Flash Gordon, and the younger son, 6, fell to the ground. He quickly grabbed his eye and started crying in a tone where you know shit has actually hit the fan. I jumped out of my seat, and made him stand up. Blood. He had a gash on his eyebrow, and he was screaming as if his eyeball popped out. Luckily, that did not happen. My husband started to yell about why we don’t run in the house, and how we’re always telling them this and that. In the mean time, I’m examining his gash, staying calm, trying to figure out if this was ER worthy. It looked deep enough that it might be, but I was kind of on the fence. I’ll always take my kids if needed, but if I don’t need to go, I’m over being cautious like I was as a newer mom. No one wants to spend their Saturday afternoon in the ER only to be told it has to heal on its own time.
I decided to call my mom over, who is a retired nurse, to check him out, and broke out an ice pack in the interim. She just finished baking us some zucchini bread, and planned to bring it over so the timing was perfect. She was at our house in about 7 minutes (PRO of having your mom live around the corner), took one look, and said we should bring him in. I told my husband to get ready and go. There was no way he was staying home with the other two since he was agitated and already put them to work cleaning up all the toys. This would be best thing for everyone.
I packed snacks, drinks, a tablet, and a charger for their journey and off they went. Of course, without the backpack which was right next to the door. I got an update about 45 minutes later, and my husband said they were going to glue the gash shut. Younger son was brave, even though I was told it stung. Ordeal over, and he got ice cream on the way home.